QotD: Grown-Up Boot Camp

What are three things you want to learn, and three things you can teach others to do? 
Submitted by bookishbiker.

Three things I want to learn:

• Native Hawaiian and how to play the Ukulele just so I can sit on the beach and sing folk songs I have no right to while playing one the world's most under-appreciated instruments.
• How to plan and tend a modest vegetable garden because if you're going to put down roots, you may as well be literal about it.
• The names of all the constellations so that if I ever have a child and we're walking through the rice fields at night and he or she says "Daddy look at that star!" I can say "Yeah, that's..." because that's something cool dads can do.

• How to live with yourself while being completely neurotic.
• The names of every character in the Addams family and in the Peanuts Gang.
• How to spend other people's money to best benefit yourself.